New Horizons

To start, here is the continuation of some Christmassy images from last week, new since my last entry. As a general rule I will always lead off with some visuals to capture your attention!

"Holly"

Copic markers on bristol

3.5 X 5.5"

"Candy and Jack"

Copic markers on bristol

3.5 X 5.5"

"Treesa"

Copic markers on bristol

3.5 X 5.5"

"Nutcrackered"

Copic markers on bristol

3.5 X 5.5"

"The Gingers"

Copic markers and colored pencil on bristol

3.5 X 5.5"

This will be my last blog of 2011, and I'm so excited that my act has seemingly come together before the new year, when resolutions sometimes stick...and sometimes don't! My hope is that I have given myself a good running-start here heading into 2012! I'm excited by the opportunity of choosing a topic each week that I can speak about freely from the heart. Most likely these posts will be about the things that inspire me, or the break-throughs I've just experienced, as I do sincerely try to keep a positive attitude (especially when I'm aware that others are watching, impressionable to my thoughts, words, and deeds)! But I'm sure that sometimes they will be about the challenges and frustrations I face, such as in today's...

I'm not just speaking about ART here, but also how art translates into our lives. My art practice is definitely a therapy for me and I find it very meditative. It's important to me to keep evolving not just as an artist but as a human being as well. And it's also important to live and create art solely for the self sometimes. These two things are not always in balance for me. I'm a black sheep in that I have always worked for myself, and not studios. But my desire has always been to be a part of a collaborative. I believe that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Always. And thus far I've not had the pleasure of fulfilling that calling in the greater sense, such as having a position in a feature animation studio, seeing my name scroll by in the credits along with the countless other faceless names who dedicated their talent and energy to a given project. I understand that when artists work for others on projects that aren't necessarily fulfilling to them, they inevitably burn out. Same goes for when you live your life for others and lose yourself -- putting dreams on hold and so on -- that zest for life can sometimes seem to all but disappear.

I generally feel peaceful and nostaligic at Christmas time, but within a week, that turns to a sadness and mourning at the prospect of turning over another calendar year. For me it means another year gone that I didn't reach my goals, be living the life I thought I'd have by now, and with the dream job I thought I'd have by now. The holidays can be overwhelming sometimes, and if I'm feeling this way, chances are someone else is, too.

I have grappled with the fear of failure for a long time, and it is true that ignoring it can never make it go away. Here is an excerpt that came my way recently which I found profoundly inspiring and reassuring and I'd like to share it here:

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I am readying my portfolio to send out, seriously, for the first time, as "the knocking in my heart" has simply grown too loud to ignore any longer!  My hope is that we can all exercise forgiveness -- of ourselves and others -- for being human and not always being perfect people/artists all the time, and that we can look fearlessly into our futures with no regrets.

Happiest of New Years to each and every one! May 2012 see you live your life to the fullest! If you are fortunate enough in life to know what your calling is, may you be brave enough to risk failure in your relentless desire to touch the stars!

xoxo
~LB!